Let me tell you a true story about an introvert and an extrovert. It’s a Saturday night. An extrovert and an introvert are invited to a birthday party. They enter the club.
It’s noisy and crowded. The music is tearing their ears apart. There are colorful flashing lights everywhere.
The extrovert receives upbeat energy vibes. They greet everyone and get excited about meeting new people. Even the music gets in their rhythm. They feel like a star, dancing on the stage.
What about the introvert? They get a little bit confused being among so many people, strangers as well. The introvert soaks up the entire situation with their eyes before they say anything. And suddenly, they feel exhausted.
However, they remind themselves that it’s supposed to be fun and they should enjoy being there. And they do exactly that.
Nevertheless, soon they get tired. Really tired. Their lungs fill with smoke. They become overly sensitive to all that noise. The introvert gets almost blind because of the lights.
Their thoughts shut down. Their feelings get blocked. Their body needs to relax. They want to leave as soon as possible. Introverts feel drained among the crowd.
Why socializing drains introverts more than extroverts?
Of course, not every extrovert is outgoing and not every introvert is shy. Actually, many introverts are the social butterfly among a group of people. Also, according to some researchers, socializing drains both- extroverts and introverts.
Nevertheless, among the many differences between these 2 types of personalities, extroverts and introverts differ in the way they respond to rewards. While extroverts have a more active dopamine reward system, introverts care less about rewards.
Dopamine is an important neurotransmitter that motivates you to take an action to achieve your goals. It helps control the brain’s pleasure and reward centers. That’s why extroverts feel more energized and get excited about chasing things. And that’s why introverts see socializing as tiring: because of the less active dopamine reward system.
On the other hand, of course, introverts care about rewards. However, they don’t chase them as hard as extroverts do; they’re more interested in seeking meaning. Is there anything wrong with the thing that introverts are not interested in chasing things the way extroverts are? Of course not.
Introverts tend to seek meaning in everything. They go for the depth of people and things. Introverts want to have a deep, meaningful conversation, deep fulfilled relationship, and a job where they will feel they do something valuable for the world. They enjoy spending time alone, reflecting on people and things, recharging their batteries.
Again, not every extrovert chase rewards like money, status, popularity, and not every introvert seeks a deep meaning focusing on their internal world. This leads us to the thing that no one can declare themselves as a fully introvert or extrovert.
As Carl Jung said: “There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert.” We all have a mixture of an introvert and an extrovert personality inside us. Sometimes, maybe one of them dominates more, but we all make a balance and respond differently to the life situation.
What do you think?
Does socializing drain you or you feel more energized?… Or you agree with the statement that we are a mixture of both personalities: an introvert and an extrovert?