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People commonly believe that when they fall in love with someone, that love will last forever. Well, I’m sorry to say that this is actually a myth which can damage your perception of love.
Society teaches us that love is about romance, passion and finding your “missing half”, your soulmate. Well, true love isn’t only romance or having butterflies in your stomach. In fact, there is much more to it.
The above- mentioned myth about love should be discarded as absolute nonsense if you want to experience true love. Medical science has proven that true love is a real thing and it’s only this kind of love which lasts a lifetime. Science also explains that true love doesn’t happen at first sight. To achieve true love you have to move past the first three phases of love. When you realize what true love really is, you’ll have a more realistic perception of love and you’ll make your relationship more meaningful and feel emotionally complete.
Love occurs in the following four strictly defined phases: partner selection, falling in love, falling out of love, and true love.
In what follows, there’s a description of each phase:
1.Partner selection.
This phase starts at birth and lasts until you choose and fall in love with a partner. It’s the phase when you create a mental image of the love of your life. This is determined by your genes and inherited brain programs. In the selection process, you rely on your senses and unconscious brain that has its own way of functioning.
2. Falling in love.
This is the phase when you’re under the influence of the brain chemicals which are known monoamines. They make you experience the first physical signs of infatuation. So, you start having fast heartbeats and feeling jealousy, anxiety, and fear. You feel happy and excited and you see your partner as perfect (although this might not be true). Moreover, you have difficulties eating or sleeping. The chemicals also increase your attention to your beloved and your sex drive.
3. Falling out of love.
The romance chemicals mentioned in the previous phase go back to normal after approximately two years. When this happens you lose all the euphoric feelings and illusions you had when you fell in love with your beloved. You realize you had an idealized image of him/her. Love made you unable to perceive their negative traits. During this phase, some couples continue to the next phase, while others end their relationship.
4.True love.
This is the phase we’re all yearning for and it represents stability. Compared to the romance chemicals in the second phase, this one is based on nonapeptide chemicals that cause the feelings of love to last for good. They enable you to build a strong bond with one partner only. In this phase, partners focus on each other’s positive sides and the things they love about each other. These chemicals also encourage feelings of compassion, patience, trust and stable marriage. In this phase, you become kinder, more supportive and empathetic and you see your beloved as the most beautiful and charming person.
True love can be promoted and maintained in the following 6 ways:
1.Introspection.
This is a mental skill to see yourself objectively. If you have this ability, it’ll enable you to make right the things you did wrong and continue doing the right things.
2.Courage.
This is important because it strengthens your love. You have to pluck up the courage to gain new experiences although you don’t really know if your beloved is going to be okay with it.
3.Cooperation.
When you feel true love, you concentrate only on your partner’s good qualities and you want to cooperate with them, thereby making your relationship more successful.
4.Intimacy
Yeah, intimacy is a result of true love and in turn, it makes it even stronger.
5.Trust.
What’s true love without trust? When you have trust in your beloved, you won’t be afraid that they might lie to, cheat on you and do anything that can betray your trust. Trust is the basis of every relationship.
6.Discipline.
If you want to have a long-lasting, meaningful, and deep relationship with your loved one, you’ll have to override your brain’ s primitive urge for sex with other partners.
