It’s no wonder that toxic people are called emotional vampires. They can sap your energy and drain you emotionally.
Toxic relationships, even with family members and friends, can influence your mental health very negatively.
There’s no doubt that removing toxic family members and friends from our life can be a very difficult and excruciating experience. Family and friendship ties are the strongest ones we have in our lives. So, in order not to hurt our own and the feelings of our friends and family members as well, what many of us do is trying to put up with their toxic behavior. We try to diminish their bad influence on us and make them aware that their behavior towards us isn’t right at all.
In reference to this, I believe we can all agree that it’s always better if we try talking things out with them first rather than cut them completely out of our lives. Telling them that the way they treat you makes you feel upset and hurt can give you hope that they can change their behavior.
Yet, if nothing changes after some period of time, all this becomes overwhelming and you find yourself in a helpless position.
So, if they continue having damaging effects on your mental health and you want to protect your emotions, then cutting them out of your life completely will be the best thing to do.
However, before deciding to do this, make sure you do that to the people who deserve it.
Toxic family members and friends always do the following 8 things:
1. They want to have control over you.
If you honestly love someone, then you respect and accept them for who they are. You respect their feelings, opinions, ideas, and wishes. And one more important thing – you don’t want to control them.
Toxic people will try to control you in every possible way. They are ready to use many cunning methods and manipulation tactics in order to get what they want, and you might not even notice that.
2. They are untrustworthy.
You can never trust toxic family members and friends. They’re the kind of people who will always spill the beans whenever you decide to confide in them. Very soon you’ll find out that the thing you wanted to hide from others is no longer a secret. They enjoy creating drama at whatever cost. This is an obvious sign that they don’t respect you and care about your feelings.
3. They talk to you only if they need something from you.
These people won’t be there for you when you need them. They’ll only come to you when they need you to do them a favor or give them advice. Don’t be surprised if a family member or a friend who you haven’t seen for quite a long time comes to you and asks you to lend them your car or give them money.
Contrary to this, if you’re the one who needs their help or advice, they’ll come up with lame excuses and disregard your needs.
4. They are extremely judgmental.
When the criticism is constructive, it can only lead to positive results and no one’s feelings get hurt. Yet, persistent, sharp and unjustifiable criticism can lower your self-esteem.
Toxic family members and friends enjoy criticizing you. If you make a mistake or do something wrong, they’ll always be there to rub it in. Are you sure that you need this kind of people in your life?
5. They often discourage you.
These people don’t care about the way you feel and won’t bother if they hurt you. If you’re going through a bad time in your life, they’ll make you feel even worse. If you’ve done something wrong, they’ll ensure you never forget that, no matter how hard you try to fix your mistakes.
6. They center conversations on themselves.
Even if you’re talking about something important to you, toxic people will redirect the topic to them. They want to be involved in all conversations and enjoy talking about themselves and their actions. If you ask them for their support or advice, they won’t care to think about it because all they’re interested in is themselves.
7. They never own up to their mistakes.
You’ll easily recognize if someone who is a family member or friend is toxic. They never admit when they make a mistake, no matter if it’s something they’ve said or done wrong. They always come up with false excuses and avoid taking responsibility for their bad actions.
Similarly, don’t expect from them to give you an honest apology if they’ve done something wrong to you.
8. They lose their tempers.
They can quickly attack you by shouting at you and insulting you when they lose their tempers. If you don’t pay attention to this reaction, you can expect to witness kind actions. They’ll praise and support you so that you start playing their little game again. Yet, don’t expect to listen to those words of approval for a long time because they’ll go back to their manipulation games again.
“Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty. It’s an act of self-care.” – Anonymous