There are different forms of abuse. But the one which doesn’t leave any scars and affects and changes people’s lives the most is emotional abuse. There is no person who deserves to be lied to, manipulated and belittled.
To overcome and forget about the bad and threatening words, and all the fighting, yelling and humiliation can be very difficult. To live a normal life without the help of others is almost impossible. A girl who has been emotionally abused needs to know that she’ll find someone who will treat her as she deserves to be treated.
So, if you’re going to fall in love with such a girl, you have to know how to treat her right. She deserves to know that you respect and care about her feelings, opinions, and decisions. She has to know that you’re able to see her worth and make her feel safe with you.
There’s one thing to be considered, though. It doesn’t mean that the life of a girl who suffered emotional abuse is totally ruined or that she is unable to have a healthy relationship with another man. All that she asks for is love, respect, and patience.
In what follows there is a list of 8 things you have to know before falling for a girl who has been emotionally abused:
1. She wants to be accepted for who she is.
A girl who has experienced emotional abuse won’t expect from you to change her. Instead of this, she wants to know that you acknowledge her feelings, opinions, and ideas. She expects from you to accept both her merits and faults because they’re a part of her.
2. She can test you.
Don’t be surprised if she puts you to the test. In order to make sure that you aren’t going to treat her badly, she’ll check if you really mean the things you say. She won’t hesitate for a second to do anything she can so that she knows she’s safe with you and won’t be hurt.
3. She wants to know that you are aware of her worth.
This girl’s value was once diminished. She had to struggle with the negative feelings that she wasn’t worthy. She wants to change that now. She needs to know that you’re able to see her value and you won’t do anything which could make her feel unimportant. So, make sure she knows you respect and find her brave, intelligent, kind and pretty.
4. She is very sensitive.
Her experience of dealing with emotional abuse has made her more emotional than before. Even the smallest thing can easily affect her. She can get upset, and even hurt if you unintentionally say something to her, such as a reproach. Even if you don’t do something you said you would, can make her feel very emotional.
5. She is too careful.
A girl who’s been emotionally abused knows very well how harshly and unexpectedly people can react. She will, therefore, be very careful about all her actions. Yet, don’t forget that she wants to know that whatever she says or does won’t make you lose your temper and start shouting at or insulting her. Show her that you do care about her and you won’t do anything to hurt her.
6. She can get confused.
After having survived an emotional abuse, she can often have difficulties deciding whether she likes or doesn’t like something. She may even doubt whether to do something or not or how to make good decisions.
Don’t underestimate her because of that. She wants to know that you have understanding and patience for all this. Show that you believe her and once she decides what she wants, you’ll be the first to know.
7. She is stronger than ever.
The bad things she went through made her feel stronger than before. Now she is able to find the strength within herself and cope with everything that comes on her way. Her past has taught her how to behave in certain situations and what kind of people and things to avoid.
8. She wants things to be different this time.
What she went through was unbearable. Now she wants her relationship to be completely different from her previous one. Now she wants to experience all the things she couldn’t before: true love, honesty, respect, trust, and freedom- she wants all of that. She wants to believe that you deserve to be a part of her bright future.
Image: Sabrina Guthier