Have you ever been in a relationship with a selfish partner? If the answer is positive, then you know what kind of a problem we’re dealing here.
Selfish people can suck the happiness out of you and leave you emotionally drained. They believe that they deserve all your attention and love without giving you anything in return. They’ll always put their emotions, needs, problems, and pleasures before yours. If there is something they can get from you, they won’t hesitate to take advantage of you until they achieve their goal.
No one wants to be treated like this. Yet, we believe that just because we love, support and respect our partner as much as we can they’ll appreciate that and reciprocate our feelings. Even when they fail to do so, we often tend to excuse them by thinking that they just had a bad day or they had other more important things to do.
Whether our partner is selfish or not can be difficult to tell because even if it’s true, our love and kindness toward them make us unable to see or admit the cold truth.
So, if you aren’t sure whether your partner is a selfish person, the following 8 signs of their behavior clearly show that your “significant other” is taking advantage of you.
Here they are:
1. They don’t take accountability.
Selfish people don’t take responsibility for their actions. If your partner makes a mistake or does something wrong, don’t expect they’ll admit that or try to solve the problem. Instead of that, they’ll pretend that it’s not their fault and they’re always right. They may even try to shift the responsibility to you and blame you for all the problems that will arise in your relationship.
2. They want to change you.
When you love someone honestly, you value that person for what he/she really is. You accept both their virtues and flaws because they’re a part of them. You don’t try to change them.
Well, if your partner is selfish, they will try to change your habits and character so that they’re appropriate to their needs and wants. This certainly isn’t a sign of respect.
3. They put in considerably less effort than you.
To have a healthy and deep relationship both partners must show commitment, empathy, affection, and interest. They should equally share their responsibilities. If you’re the only one who cares about making things work in your relationship, you’ll end up feeling emotionally drained and neglected by your partner.
So, if your partner doesn’t put in effort and time into your relationship as you do, you can take this as a sign that he isn’t interested in both you and your relationship.
4. They take you for granted.
If your partner is a selfish person, they won’t take you seriously. They believe that they can never upset you or break your heart. They will think that you can never leave them and that things are going to be the same forever.
Your partner will always think his needs, opinions, pleasures, and problems matter more than yours.
5. Your partner’s communication is negative.
It may seem strange but the way your partner communicates with you can reveal a lot about them. Your partner’s communication can bring out different sides of you. You should ask yourself these questions: Does your better self come to the surface when your partner is talking to you? Does the way your partner communicate with you show that he cares about your emotions, respects you and wants to make you content and happy?
Selfish people don’t fall into this category. They don’t bother if the words they say to you can bring you down or make you feel unworthy. These people can criticize you harshly and without any justifiable reasons. If you’ve made a mistake or feel sad, your selfish partner won’t often bother to encourage you and boost your self – confidence, and sometimes they can even make you feel worse.
6. They have the final word.
You can be sure that your partner is selfish if they always want to be their way. They’ll never take your ideas, plans, and suggestions into consideration. A selfish partner always decides whether you’re going to stay at home or go out at the weekend. This person can easily and coldly disregard and ignore all your ideas and plans if they don’t like them.
7. They flirt with other people.
This kind of people doesn’t feel afraid or embarrassed to flirt with other people. They do that out of fun. They do it to feed their ego. While doing this, they won’t even bother to think about your feelings. You can be hurt and feel unworthy, but who cares? Having fun and boosting self-confidence is what your selfish partner is interested in.
8. They don’t define your relationship.
What other signs that your partner is selfish do you need? If you try to make your relationship official, they’ll step back. They don’t want to be labeled as someone’s “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. It’s like taking their freedom away from them. They won’t agree to put a label on your relationship even if they know that this can hurt your feelings or make you feel insecure about yourself and your relationship.
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.“ – Oscar Wilde