Are you the type of a woman who attracts many of those guys who can drain your energy and hurt you – the toxic guys? Well, ladies, I believe you have a big problem.
If you aren’t completely sure what a toxic guy looks like exactly, let me explain it to you.
Toxic guys are the kind of people who are extremely good at hiding their true personality and can easily trick you into believing their lies.
They know plenty of ways how to get what they want from you. They can pretend to be lovely and kind and treat you nicely until they achieve their goal.
Their goal is to satisfy their own needs. To feel good, content and superior to you is all they care about. Toxic guys want you to give them your soul and mind but they won’t give you anything in return. They’ll never put you first on their priority list.
Yet, have you ever wondered why are you always attracting these guys? Is there anything that you do which makes them come to you?
If you don’t know the answer, make sure you read the following 8 reasons for which so many toxic guys are drawn to you.
Here is the list:
1. You are very empathetic.
Being empathetic is good. Unfortunately, it’s a quality which most people lack. Yet, if toxic guys see that you’re too empathetic, they’ll use you as a bait to achieve what they want.
The fact that you’re always ready to listen to all their problems and offer them compassion and support whenever there’s a need, is what makes you more vulnerable. In this way, you’re unable to see the harsh truth. The thing is that they aren’t really feeling upset or sad. They’re just pretending to be hurt in order to take advantage of your kindness and fulfill their needs.
2. You often give him the benefit of the doubt.
What many women avoid doing is confronting their partners. If you have doubts about the way your guy behaves, then you should check that. For example, maybe he didn’t come home last night and he said he slept over at his friend’s house, but you don’t believe him. If you still don’t do anything to confront him, then you begin giving him the benefit of the doubt.
This is something that he can really begin to like because it’ll be easier for him to manipulate you.
Don’t forget that it’s up to you to take all the necessary action so as to make sure you feel respected and he doesn’t lie to you.
3. Your heart has been broken.
If your heart was recently broken, you’ll be an easier target for toxic guys. They’ll know that you’re more vulnerable now and in a way, you have a negative view of love. Due to this, they can use you more easily and get what they want from you.
So, if your heart has been broken, don’t let toxic guys destroy you even more. Try to forget about your past and focus on your present life.
4. You are very kind to him.
To treat people nicely is always good. But when it comes to toxic guys, this can be very counterproductive.
If toxic guys see that you’re too nice and polite to them, they’ll take that as a sign that you don’t complain and object to anything that they say or do.
So, stop being like this because the last thing you’d like for yourself is to turn into his doormat.
5. You aren’t self-confident.
How can anyone respect and love you if you don’t respect and love yourself?
Your lack of self-confidence will make you the perfect victim. If toxic guys see that you have a self-esteem, they’ll know that you’re a woman who has low standards as well, and therefore, easy to be manipulated. He’ll know that you won’t ask him to do anything which is out of your comfort zone.
6. You are a fixer.
If you’re the type of woman who believes that everybody and everything can be changed, you should know this is impossible. Toxic guys can never be changed.
So, if you believe that if you show them enough love, respect, and compassion, they’ll become better people, stop fooling yourself. No matter what you do or give them, they will neither change nor give you love and gratitude in return.
7. You are his hope of change.
Don’t doubt that toxic guys are aware of their bad habits. One of the main reasons for which they’ve chosen you is because they know you have a lot of healthy habits. They hope that your good qualities can help them improve themselves and who knows, maybe become better people.
Yet, don’t let yourself believe that your healthy lifestyle can change your toxic guy that easily. Their toxic habits are usually the thing they don’t have control over.
8. You don’t set boundaries.
If you don’t set clear boundaries at the very beginning, it’ll be more difficult for you to do that later. The toxic guy needs to know his limits and it’s your responsibility to tell him that.
If you’re afraid to set boundaries, you’ll be also afraid to speak your mind.
If you solely care about his needs and problems, you’ll start forgetting about your own. And don’t believe that toxic guys will appreciate you more for doing all this. They’ll see this as an opportunity to take advantage of you without giving you the smallest chance to stand up for yourself.
“Some people will only “love you” as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop.” – Anonymous
Image: Сαrσ Tungσ