When he entered my life, everything seemed like the most beautiful fairytale. He was everything I ever wanted: a partner, supporter, friend, a kind, charming man…the other half of my soul. We enjoyed every moment together, drunk of love, thinking about our future.
I can’t forget the day when he asked me to be his wife. I was the happiest woman in the whole world. Yes, I was ready to share my life with him. I was ready to say “yes” to the man of my dreams.
I was living my dream refusing to wake up. However, beautiful dreams don’t last long, so I opened my eyes to greet the new day. That day, my entire world fell apart.
He told me he cheated on me, few weeks before our wedding. Not once, but many times.
I lost the ground under my feet. I fell in love with a cheater. A serial cheater.
He was supposed to be the man who’d make me happy, wasn’t he? We were supposed to swear on eternal love, weren’t we?
He begged me to understand him. He promised that he’d never do the same mistake again. I loved that bastard. I loved him to my bones. He blinded me with his sweet words and eyes full of tears. And I was naive to trust him again.
He cheated on me. My husband broke my heart again, even though he promised he would never do that. I was stranded. I lost myself in his fake promises. Still, I stayed.
Why did I feel ashamed of something he was guilty of? Why did I care about what other people would say?
If I could go back to the time, this is what I would tell myself…this is what every woman needs to know before she marries a cheater.
1. Don’t trust him.
Don’t believe his sweet words and empty promises. Don’t feel sorry for him when he sheds fake tears begging you for a forgiveness. Wake up, see the reality. Trust your gut when it tells you that something is wrong.
Don’t fall into his manipulative trap again. When he tells you he will change, make sure he is lying. No dear, he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You deserve better, trust me.
2. Don’t feel ashamed of what he is responsible for.
I know, your soul burns. I know, you’re overwhelmed by mixed thoughts and feelings. I know you want to leave him before it’s too late…but you are still concerned what other people would think.
And you can’t imagine your wall of happiness falling apart in front of your legs.
However, don’t you dare feel ashamed of the pain he gave you! He is unfaithful. He is guilty. If there are any feelings inside him, he is the one who needs to feel ashamed, not you.
3. Don’t think you will be able to forget it.
Maybe you forgave him, but, how many times will you be able to do this? Will you be able to forgive all his “mistakes”? Will you be able to forget the pain that tears you to tiny pieces?
Your scars will be always there to remind you, they will be still alive.
4. Don’t delude yourself it will be the same.
When he told you he cheated on you, you already lost a bit of faith, hope, trust, a part of your heart. When something breaks, it’s really difficult, even impossible be recollected, to shine with the same spark again.
It will never be the same, no matter how hard you want or pretend to be. Cheating and lying are not mistakes, they’re choices. He chose to hurt you, remember that.
5. Don’t fight for someone who doesn’t respect you.
If he respected you, he would not lie and cheat on you. If he respected you, he would keep his promises. You gave him many chances, but people like him don’t deserve any chance.
He doesn’t deserve your love. Therefore, you have all the rights to turn your back to him. Right now. Without any doubts. Don’t let someone who doesn’t deserve your love destroy your life.
Don’t marry a cheater. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to say him “No”. Don’t stay with him hoping that he will change.
Stay beautiful and strong as you are. Believe in yourself.
You are worth true love. Yes, you are. And you will find it with another man.
Image: Sabrina Guthier