Are you one of those people who enjoy helping and taking care of others so much that they forget about their own needs, wishes, and problems? Well, if you are, you should know that this can have a negative impact on your mental health.
We all want to offer help, support, and love to people who need them and there’s nothing bad about it. On the contrary, it shows how unselfish, kind, and good-hearted we are. Yet, you should put a limit on this. Concentrating on other people’s needs while neglecting and ignoring yours will bring no good to both sides. How can you help and make others happy if you don’t help and make yourself happy first? Giving your whole energy and time to other people always and never to yourself will overwhelm and exhaust you eventually.
So, if you don’t want this to happen and if you’re wondering how you can know if you’re giving far more than you should, make sure you read the following 11 signs:
1. You feel extremely tired.
Spending most of your time helping others can sap your energy. You postpone your daily tasks until later just to have more time to take care of other people. You also allow the way others feel, especially when they’re sad or hurt, affect your emotions and this wears you out.
2. You never find time for yourself.
You always let other people’s emotions and problems be your priority. You do whatever you can to help them overcome their personal issues, insecurities, and fears. In this process, you forget about your own. It’s important for you to understand that you must always have a me-time when you’ll think things through, consider possibilities, make decisions, and relax. Take care of yourself first, and, trust me, you’ll be more helpful to others.
3. Your help is not that effective any longer.
By devoting every single bit of your heart and mind to others in the process of taking care of them, you’ll start paying less attention to many significant things. You’ll fail to notice important details or problems because all you think and care about is other people’s necessities. So, instead of helping them effectively, you can make the situation even more difficult to handle.
4. You lack things that you need and want.
Yeah, you’re always there to help others get what they want and accomplish their goals, but what about you? What happens to all the things you need and want to have, but you don’t have them because you can’t find time for them? Never forget to make yourself, your needs and wishes your top priority.
5. Others start asking for your help more and more.
You helped someone once and they saw how kind you are. Now, they believe that they’re entitled to your help and attention anytime they want them. If you’re the one they always come to when they need something, then they’re using you. Don’t let them take advantage of you and make them know that your undivided attention and unselfish help have limits they have to respect.
6. You make others depend on you.
If you feel that your loved ones and/or acquaintances can’t make even the simplest decision or step towards their goals without you, know they are dependent on you. This can suck your energy and freedom out of you as you will constantly feel the need and pressure to be always there for them when they need your advice, encouragement, and help.
7. You feel manipulated by the people you help.
You never hesitate to make a sacrifice for others and put their needs before yours and what you get in return is their manipulation. Well, who said life is fair? Don’t expect that all people will be good and unselfish as you are and that they’ll know how to appreciate your kindness.
8.The people you help don’t keep their promises.
You’re always there for them and do what you promise them. Yet, they aren’t grateful for this and disregard the true love and help you give them. If they often “forget” their promises and avoid their responsibilities towards you, it’s time you gave a second thought about helping them.
9. You often feel under stress.
Who wouldn’t feel stressed if they forget about living their own life and think only about helping others? Other people’s negative emotions and energy create drama and tension in your life. Be careful as this can damage your physical and emotional health.
10. You are having problems in your relationships.
Not only do you sacrifice your own well-being to help others, but you also sacrifice your relationships. This can have permanent negative consequences for your emotional life. Don’t forget that you too have a family or a partner to care about, love, and support.
11. You bail out those who don’t deserve it.
If you help someone who has done something bad once, it’s totally fine. But, if they continue with their wrongdoings although they’re aware of it, maybe you should let them take their own responsibility and grow up.