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A relationship with a narcissist looks like a fairytale…in the beginning, though. That’s the initial wicked plan of the spider who attempts to catch the fly in its spider web. Once the victim gets paralyzed by the poison, it becomes an easy catch to be controlled and destroyed.
That’s what it looks like when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. It leaves you confused, paralyzed, stressed, physically and emotionally exhausted.
However, everything has a beginning and an end. So, you rely on your inner strength and decide to break up with the narcissist. Finally, you break free from their vicious circle of manipulations and lies.
Nevertheless, every breakup is hard; the breakup with the narcissist-even harder. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions you experience even after the breakup.
Here are 10 challenges you’re likely to encounter and ways to help you cope with them.
1. OBSESSING
While being in a relationship with a narcissist, you spent a lot of time analyzing and overanalyzing their words, actions, toxic behavior, and confusing character, trying to understand why they acted the way they did. This analyzing habit stays with you even after the breakup.
How can you help yourself?
Remind yourself that the toxic story with the narcissist is over. You’re no longer in a relationship with them. Therefore, you shouldn’t care about them at all. Force your mind to switch your thoughts to a brighter topic.
2. RATIONALIZING
Of course, you did everything you could to stay in the relationship with your partner. You were willing to go to extremes, trying to justify your partner’s behavior. You were finding excuses about the way they treated you. After the split, you’ll start rationalizing again.
How can you help yourself?
It’s a normal thing to miss your partner after the breakup. However, don’t forget that narcissist never change; don’t call or text them. Go no contact and stay there. You are strong. You can do it.
3. FEELING ANXIOUS
A relationship with a narcissist makes you feel anxious. The breakup with them makes your anxiety even worse; it brings additional stress and fears.
How can you help yourself?
Mediation, yoga, dancing…Try to exercise whenever you feel you need it.
4. FEELING LOST AND BORED
The narcissist was the one who had all the power in the relationship. You were used to their control over you, blames, and dramas. Your narcissistic partner was always right and you wrong.
After the breakup, there’s no one to treat you that way, so you feel kind of lost, bored, and empty, like nothing exciting happens.
How can you help yourself?
Meet new friends, try new things. Enjoy spending time with yourself. Don’t forget that the real happiness comes from within first.
5. SHAME
When you finally realize that your relationship with the narcissist was toxic and you deserve better, you feel ashamed. You can’t forgive yourself for being so trustful and naive.
How can you help yourself?
Don’t call yourself stupid. Don’t do this to yourself. Remember that narcissists are experienced liars and master manipulators. Anyone could fall into their trap and be the victim.
6. SELF-DOUBT
In the phase of sweet words, narcissists have a hidden goal: they want to discover your weaknesses, fears, secrets and use them as a weapon to bring you down. Now, you lose your self-confidence and self-respect; you don’t even trust your own judgment.
How can you help yourself?
Spend some time with yourself and people who love you. Learn to love and appreciate yourself again. If you don’t love yourself, who will? Also, you can visit a therapist to help you regain your self-confidence.
7. SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Narcissists are experts on seduction. They know how to use their charm to get under your skin. Therefore, after the breakup, you fall into a desperation as your body craves their touch.
How can you help yourself?
Your ex is not the only one charming person in the world who can satisfy your sexual needs. Remember that. So, when you’ll be ready, don’t hesitate to open your heart to another person; however, this time to the one who’ll respect you.
8. JEALOSY
Vampires need to feed themselves with blood. Therefore, right after the breakup, narcissists search for another victim. They want to provoke jealousy in you as well.
How can you help yourself?
When you feel jealous, just remember that narcissists know nothing about love. They need a victim, not a partner. In fact, the narcissist will treat their new “partner” the same way they treated you…so, there’s no need for any jealousy.
9. REGRET
Our time is precious and you may have deep regrets about why you wasted it on your ex-narcissistic partner.
How can you help yourself?
Don’t think about past. Past is where it should be. The most important thing is that you were strong enough to get out of a toxic relationship that threatened your well-being. Be proud of yourself.
10. GRIEF
Some pains can’t be healed just like that, I know. However, I hope this article will help you deal with some of your bad feelings.
Be patient. Everything will fall perfectly on its place. Be grateful for having the courage to end this unhealthy relationship, and get ready to meet people who will deserve your love.
Image: Elisa Paci
